Getting back in the saddle. I've been having some moderate motivational issues since the crash and the plague. Once you take a whole bunch of days off, it kind of shifts the momentum. I also feel sad and discouraged about the setback, which also feeds the negative feedback loop for the motivation.
I'm pretty sure the only cure is to stamp out these memories and feelings with some good rides, and get back into the right mindset. I'm going to try to do a Mt. Evans trial run next week to determine whether I want to participate in the actual race, so I've got to bring my A-game. I think this week's goal will be to ride semi consistently and get back over 200 miles.
Sunday 06/14: 41 miles, 2:23:46 (17.1 mph) Peter's Short Long Loop, truncated due to flat tire and no tools. Well, the comeback is off to kind of a crappy start. I felt awful on this ride... I was full of snot and phlegm from being sick, except that I couldn't cough or sneeze bc my ribs are still so bruised. I felt tired though I was going pretty slow, and I was completely discombobulated by the down tube shifters and the 52/38 gearing on Big Red. I also forgot to bring a patch kit or spare tire, and figured it was just my luck to land a big flat tire about 5 miles from home.
Thankfully, I was rescued by the KB mobile, and took my poor injured Celeste bike to Steve's for some patching up. Bah, this seriously didn't help my vague suspicion that this is all a sign that me and bike racing was not meant to be...
Monday 06/15: Off. Woke up really tired and discouraged, so I didn't attempt another ride, and was really in a foul mood all day.
Tuesday 06/16: 45.7 miles, 2:36:11 (17.5 mph) Peter's Short Long Loop. Try #2. This one went much better. Felt a lot less sick, and even that helped. I think I've basically figured out how to deal with the six-speed and the shifters at this point so that helped too. I guess its never a good feeling when route times are slower than they used to be, but at least I didn't feel tired out by the effort. It was a good solid step in the right direction.
Wednesday 06/17: Off. Another really bad morning. I had Red Box planned for today and I even did wake up at 5 am... like fully awake, and not even that tired. But I sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands feeling like I just didn't want to go. I still lacked confidence with taking Big Red on any longer rides, and going into the mountains for the first time in a week and a half felt daunting. Visions of crashes and catastrophes filled my head... and I remembered that I had felt a little like this the day that I went on that RB ride last week. That superstitious thought tipped the scales, I crawled back into bed and fell asleep... it felt like the right decision at the time, but as the day wore on, I felt increasingly guilty and stupid and bothered.
Thursday 06/18: 41.5 miles, 2:44:00 (15.1 mph), Angeles Crest to Clear Creek, plus a few laps of the RB on the way home. Today started out a little bit like yesterday, but I was determined to get past this feeling. I still did dawdle for long enough that I no longer felt like I had enough time to go to Red Box, but I was determined at least to make it to Clear Creek. I heard that the bike we purchased off of eBay (Bianchi FG Lite Team bike) was arriving today, so I told myself that the least I could do was do a ride today so as to deserve my new purchase.
Climbing on Big Red was a lot easier than I thought. Actually managed a pretty speedy ascent, despite feeling positive dreadful trudging over to the base of the 2. I was pretty pleased. To alleviate some guilt for not having gone to Red Box, I did a few laps at a moderate intensity at the RB before heading home for the day. All in all I think this was what I needed to get back into it.
Friday 06/19: Off, shots. So tired... so sleep deprived. Everyone left work early, including me. By which I mean I left at 6:30 pm.
Saturday 06/20: 86.9 miles, 5:47:38 (15 mph) GMR to GRR to Baldy Village and back the same way we came. First time doing it this way, rather than just taking the flat way back. This was a harder than usual effort for me, Will, Ben, Alec and Scott were there, so it was kind of a "Ride just to keep up" sort of a situation. I felt pretty good until we reached the base of the climb, after which the pace felt a little bit stressful. I considered just dropping back right off the bat, but realized that with the 38/25, which is the smallest gear that Big Red has, it just felt more natural to go at the faster pace, so I kept it up and it started to feel easier.
I was pretty excited that I kept up with the group until mile 6 on GRR, at which point I was fairly catastrophically left behind. I was feeling a little bit freaked out at this point, my motivation to push hard totally gone, I kind of wondered if I should just go home alone the flat way rather than risk the climbing up from Baldy Village. I had a gu at BV though, and decided to man up and go back with the group. The first climb was a lot shorter than I thought it would be, and thankfully Will decided to drop back and rock the grupetto with me. It's so much better than the grupetto of one.
The ride back was... fraught with some misfortunes, unfortunately. It had been drizzling almost the entire ride, and we suffered some casualties. Will got a flat tire and Ben crashed on the descent, but all in all it appears everyone made it home in one piece. As a result of these two items, I ended up riding back to Pasadena with Alec, which was a little challenging, but I think I dug in and managed not to slow him down too much. I had a good time though, despite the rain and the droppage... and Ben told me all about the Everest Challenge and made me really want to do it!
Training this week: 215 miles, 13:31:35. Slowly inching back towards acceptable!
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