Getting back in the saddle. I've been having some moderate motivational issues since the crash and the plague. Once you take a whole bunch of days off, it kind of shifts the momentum. I also feel sad and discouraged about the setback, which also feeds the negative feedback loop for the motivation.
I'm pretty sure the only cure is to stamp out these memories and feelings with some good rides, and get back into the right mindset. I'm going to try to do a Mt. Evans trial run next week to determine whether I want to participate in the actual race, so I've got to bring my A-game. I think this week's goal will be to ride semi consistently and get back over 200 miles.
Sunday 06/14: 41 miles, 2:23:46 (17.1 mph) Peter's Short Long Loop, truncated due to flat tire and no tools. Well, the comeback is off to kind of a crappy start. I felt awful on this ride... I was full of snot and phlegm from being sick, except that I couldn't cough or sneeze bc my ribs are still so bruised. I felt tired though I was going pretty slow, and I was completely discombobulated by the down tube shifters and the 52/38 gearing on Big Red. I also forgot to bring a patch kit or spare tire, and figured it was just my luck to land a big flat tire about 5 miles from home.
Thankfully, I was rescued by the KB mobile, and took my poor injured Celeste bike to Steve's for some patching up. Bah, this seriously didn't help my vague suspicion that this is all a sign that me and bike racing was not meant to be...
Monday 06/15: Off. Woke up really tired and discouraged, so I didn't attempt another ride, and was really in a foul mood all day.
Tuesday 06/16: 45.7 miles, 2:36:11 (17.5 mph) Peter's Short Long Loop. Try #2. This one went much better. Felt a lot less sick, and even that helped. I think I've basically figured out how to deal with the six-speed and the shifters at this point so that helped too. I guess its never a good feeling when route times are slower than they used to be, but at least I didn't feel tired out by the effort. It was a good solid step in the right direction.
Wednesday 06/17: Off. Another really bad morning. I had Red Box planned for today and I even did wake up at 5 am... like fully awake, and not even that tired. But I sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands feeling like I just didn't want to go. I still lacked confidence with taking Big Red on any longer rides, and going into the mountains for the first time in a week and a half felt daunting. Visions of crashes and catastrophes filled my head... and I remembered that I had felt a little like this the day that I went on that RB ride last week. That superstitious thought tipped the scales, I crawled back into bed and fell asleep... it felt like the right decision at the time, but as the day wore on, I felt increasingly guilty and stupid and bothered.
Thursday 06/18: 41.5 miles, 2:44:00 (15.1 mph), Angeles Crest to Clear Creek, plus a few laps of the RB on the way home. Today started out a little bit like yesterday, but I was determined to get past this feeling. I still did dawdle for long enough that I no longer felt like I had enough time to go to Red Box, but I was determined at least to make it to Clear Creek. I heard that the bike we purchased off of eBay (Bianchi FG Lite Team bike) was arriving today, so I told myself that the least I could do was do a ride today so as to deserve my new purchase.
Climbing on Big Red was a lot easier than I thought. Actually managed a pretty speedy ascent, despite feeling positive dreadful trudging over to the base of the 2. I was pretty pleased. To alleviate some guilt for not having gone to Red Box, I did a few laps at a moderate intensity at the RB before heading home for the day. All in all I think this was what I needed to get back into it.
Friday 06/19: Off, shots. So tired... so sleep deprived. Everyone left work early, including me. By which I mean I left at 6:30 pm.
Saturday 06/20: 86.9 miles, 5:47:38 (15 mph) GMR to GRR to Baldy Village and back the same way we came. First time doing it this way, rather than just taking the flat way back. This was a harder than usual effort for me, Will, Ben, Alec and Scott were there, so it was kind of a "Ride just to keep up" sort of a situation. I felt pretty good until we reached the base of the climb, after which the pace felt a little bit stressful. I considered just dropping back right off the bat, but realized that with the 38/25, which is the smallest gear that Big Red has, it just felt more natural to go at the faster pace, so I kept it up and it started to feel easier.
I was pretty excited that I kept up with the group until mile 6 on GRR, at which point I was fairly catastrophically left behind. I was feeling a little bit freaked out at this point, my motivation to push hard totally gone, I kind of wondered if I should just go home alone the flat way rather than risk the climbing up from Baldy Village. I had a gu at BV though, and decided to man up and go back with the group. The first climb was a lot shorter than I thought it would be, and thankfully Will decided to drop back and rock the grupetto with me. It's so much better than the grupetto of one.
The ride back was... fraught with some misfortunes, unfortunately. It had been drizzling almost the entire ride, and we suffered some casualties. Will got a flat tire and Ben crashed on the descent, but all in all it appears everyone made it home in one piece. As a result of these two items, I ended up riding back to Pasadena with Alec, which was a little challenging, but I think I dug in and managed not to slow him down too much. I had a good time though, despite the rain and the droppage... and Ben told me all about the Everest Challenge and made me really want to do it!
Training this week: 215 miles, 13:31:35. Slowly inching back towards acceptable!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Week 10: Crash (06/07/2009 - 06/13/2009)
... Crash and burn... the latest in the "Involuntary Rest Week" series.
On Tuesday (06/09), I woke up not really wanting to ride, but I coaxed myself out the door with the promise if my first set of RB intervals. I was feeling great after my Sunday ride, and itching to do some harder stuff. Little did I know....
Sunday 06/07: 103 miles, 7:24:08 (14 mph), Hwy 39 to the 2, then up to Dawson's Saddle and back on the 2. It's been a while since I updated the blog, but this was an epic ride. Got a little bit of a late start, but figured I had just about enough daylight to squeeze this in. Felt great, and got some compliments from a random guy who rode with me for a few miles, but by about mile 30 I was feeling inexplicably pooped, and the weather was now way too warm for my base layer. There was some slogging up to about mile 38, after which the clouds rolled in and I started feeling inexplicably better.
Side note: Does anyone else think that the road condition of the 39 has deteriorated significantly? I remembered this as a really nice, non steep road from 2 years ago, but it was really overgrown and full of pot holes. I had considered turning back early a few times, but decided that there was no way I was going to descend down this death trap.... so onwards I went.
The really barren stretch from Crystal lakes to the 2 also seemed to be twice as long as I had remembered, but thankfully it was pretty easy going. Unfortunately, now it was starting to get drizzly and cold... so I arrived at the intersection of the 2 feeling a little bit irate. Then through the swirling fog, I saw a beautiful patch of sunny blue sky just to my right towards Dawson's Saddle. I rashly decided that heading back down into more cold, foggy descending sounded unappealing, so I turned right to make the ascent out of the clouds and up to Dawson's Saddle. I think I was a little bit more worn out than the last time I was here, but the climb was nice nonetheless.
Descending back into the fog was kind of terrifying, but I proceeded with caution until I was safely to Newcombe's Ranch, where it was near closing time, and I met the owner of the place, who seemed duly impressed with how far I'd come :). The rest of the journey was pleasant, the stretch home from Newcombe's seemed a lot shorter than I remembered, and I got home feeling pretty good!
Monday 06/08: Off, rest. Not really sure what happened this day. I think a fair amount of work. I was considering riding today bc I was feeling good, but didn't manage to wake up.
Tuesday 06/09: 20.4 miles, 1:13:57 before the crash. I really didn't want to get up today, but I didn't want to get into the habit of taking Monday and Tuesday off, so I decided to motivate myself by attempting my first set of intervals. The goal was just to do 3 at a moderate sustainable pace. On the first one, I had a lot of trouble keeping my focus, and my HR kept dropping down to 170... the split was 9:20, which is pretty crappy, so I resolved to do better on the next one. The second one started out pretty good, it was easier to maintain a good clip this time, and I could tell from the spedometer that I was going a lot faster than the first one. As I was coming down the last part of the downhill stretch right before the little hill, an oncoming vehicle made a left turn directly into my path.
I tried to make the gap between the tail end and the opposite side of the road, but I didn't make it, I slammed into the back end of the car, and the next thing I remember is feeling like my right ribcage had been crushed into a cube. It took a few moments just to recover from this horrible feeling, and then a whole bunch of people came running over. It was craziness. Everyone was really nice... except for the motorcycle cop. He seemed very unconcerned by my state or the events that had caused it.
Went to urgent care afterwards, but left when they told me it would be a 3 hour wait. I decided just to go the doctor's office and make an appt. but they were able to see me right away. Thankfully things are okay other than the road rash and some bruised ribs.
My poor bike fared less well. Apparently the impact had managed to bend the cranks, which no one had seen before.... as well as a lot of cosmetic damage. Incycle told me it was totaled and that it was unsafe to ride, and Steve said it was totally fine. Wasn't super comfortable with either opinion, so right now I'm waiting to make my decision.
Wednesday 06/10 - Saturday 06/13: Off. I got horribly ill the day after the accident... between the ribs and the plague, I couldn't sleep at all for the next 3 days. I felt terrible, didn't ride at all. I can't believe how many off days this was. Gahhhhhh....
Training this Week: 123.4 miles, 8:38:05. Soooooooooo sad :'(
On Tuesday (06/09), I woke up not really wanting to ride, but I coaxed myself out the door with the promise if my first set of RB intervals. I was feeling great after my Sunday ride, and itching to do some harder stuff. Little did I know....
Sunday 06/07: 103 miles, 7:24:08 (14 mph), Hwy 39 to the 2, then up to Dawson's Saddle and back on the 2. It's been a while since I updated the blog, but this was an epic ride. Got a little bit of a late start, but figured I had just about enough daylight to squeeze this in. Felt great, and got some compliments from a random guy who rode with me for a few miles, but by about mile 30 I was feeling inexplicably pooped, and the weather was now way too warm for my base layer. There was some slogging up to about mile 38, after which the clouds rolled in and I started feeling inexplicably better.
Side note: Does anyone else think that the road condition of the 39 has deteriorated significantly? I remembered this as a really nice, non steep road from 2 years ago, but it was really overgrown and full of pot holes. I had considered turning back early a few times, but decided that there was no way I was going to descend down this death trap.... so onwards I went.
The really barren stretch from Crystal lakes to the 2 also seemed to be twice as long as I had remembered, but thankfully it was pretty easy going. Unfortunately, now it was starting to get drizzly and cold... so I arrived at the intersection of the 2 feeling a little bit irate. Then through the swirling fog, I saw a beautiful patch of sunny blue sky just to my right towards Dawson's Saddle. I rashly decided that heading back down into more cold, foggy descending sounded unappealing, so I turned right to make the ascent out of the clouds and up to Dawson's Saddle. I think I was a little bit more worn out than the last time I was here, but the climb was nice nonetheless.
Descending back into the fog was kind of terrifying, but I proceeded with caution until I was safely to Newcombe's Ranch, where it was near closing time, and I met the owner of the place, who seemed duly impressed with how far I'd come :). The rest of the journey was pleasant, the stretch home from Newcombe's seemed a lot shorter than I remembered, and I got home feeling pretty good!
Monday 06/08: Off, rest. Not really sure what happened this day. I think a fair amount of work. I was considering riding today bc I was feeling good, but didn't manage to wake up.
Tuesday 06/09: 20.4 miles, 1:13:57 before the crash. I really didn't want to get up today, but I didn't want to get into the habit of taking Monday and Tuesday off, so I decided to motivate myself by attempting my first set of intervals. The goal was just to do 3 at a moderate sustainable pace. On the first one, I had a lot of trouble keeping my focus, and my HR kept dropping down to 170... the split was 9:20, which is pretty crappy, so I resolved to do better on the next one. The second one started out pretty good, it was easier to maintain a good clip this time, and I could tell from the spedometer that I was going a lot faster than the first one. As I was coming down the last part of the downhill stretch right before the little hill, an oncoming vehicle made a left turn directly into my path.
I tried to make the gap between the tail end and the opposite side of the road, but I didn't make it, I slammed into the back end of the car, and the next thing I remember is feeling like my right ribcage had been crushed into a cube. It took a few moments just to recover from this horrible feeling, and then a whole bunch of people came running over. It was craziness. Everyone was really nice... except for the motorcycle cop. He seemed very unconcerned by my state or the events that had caused it.
Went to urgent care afterwards, but left when they told me it would be a 3 hour wait. I decided just to go the doctor's office and make an appt. but they were able to see me right away. Thankfully things are okay other than the road rash and some bruised ribs.
My poor bike fared less well. Apparently the impact had managed to bend the cranks, which no one had seen before.... as well as a lot of cosmetic damage. Incycle told me it was totaled and that it was unsafe to ride, and Steve said it was totally fine. Wasn't super comfortable with either opinion, so right now I'm waiting to make my decision.
Wednesday 06/10 - Saturday 06/13: Off. I got horribly ill the day after the accident... between the ribs and the plague, I couldn't sleep at all for the next 3 days. I felt terrible, didn't ride at all. I can't believe how many off days this was. Gahhhhhh....
Training this Week: 123.4 miles, 8:38:05. Soooooooooo sad :'(
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Week 9: Fail! (05/31/2009 - 06/06/2009)
As such things go, life was determined to force upon me another "rest week"...
So far, work has not been cooperating with the getting into racing shape initiative. Whether it's the 2 am leaving times or the massive quantities of CPK pizzas that the team has ordered in for the long night ahead, I'm definitely getting fatter, not fitter.
Sadly, my 8 week run of putting in decent mileage has come to an end with this week. It was one of those things where I woke up on Saturday morning, not feeling free or even relieved... but just completely exhausted and deflated. It really hasn't been a good week.
Sunday 05/31: 78.7 miles, 4:32:03 (17.3 mph) Seal Beach the Short Way. Oddly enough, the week started off auspiciously. Rode a record time for this course, despite overshooting one of my turns and adding and extra 2 blocks. I felt surprisingly unaffected by yesterday's 105 mile ride. I even felt peppy enough to do 30 second sprints every hour like Peter. Otherwise, just tried to keep it easy except for a 10 minute segment where I had to pick it up a bit to hold off a guy who was trying to pass me. He seemed unamused. It's not personal buddy, I'm just a competitive person.
Monday 06/01 - Wednesday 06/03: Off, this was a really tough week. On Monday morning, I attended the funeral of co-worker, a 24 year old girl. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I worked well past midnight. I felt horrible, physically, mentally, emotionally.
Thursday 06/04: 43.16 miles, 2:54:50 (14.9 mph) Angeles Crest to Red Box. Got to bed at 1 am and woke up at 5 am, I decided that being fat and disgusting was worse feeling than being sleep deprived, so I actually managed to go on this ride. Basically tried out some higher cadences per Will's suggestion, and found the journey to be both easier and faster than before. Felt good, so I threw in some 30 second surges every half hour to break up some of the easy climbing. This ride was a bright spot in an otherwise pretty terrible week.
Friday 06/05: Off, shots. Finished work at 8 pm, a record for this week! Went to get thai food, and consume large quantities of cocktails and cupcakes with my coworkers to celebrate our survival.
Saturday 06/06: 45.7 miles, 2:35:22 (17.6 mph) Peter's Short Long Loop. Measurements approximate on this one. My cyclocomputer had a nervous breakdown in the middle of this ride, for unknown reasons. It seems okay now, but I was not amused. I guess I wasn't really in the mood to be amused by anything today. I tried to get up at a reasonable hour to go on a long ride, but I dozed guiltily until about 11am, at which I realized that I had to go to the bank before it closed at 1 pm. Despite 10 hours of sleep, I still felt really exhausted in all ways... and the overcast weather was uninspiring for a long ride. This was exactly like the cycling equivalent of when you go on a dinky 5-6 mile run to alleviate the guilt of not doing your longer/harder workout. I felt really tired though, even on this short flat ride... pretty demoralizing.
Training this week: 167.6 miles, 10:02:15
So far, work has not been cooperating with the getting into racing shape initiative. Whether it's the 2 am leaving times or the massive quantities of CPK pizzas that the team has ordered in for the long night ahead, I'm definitely getting fatter, not fitter.
Sadly, my 8 week run of putting in decent mileage has come to an end with this week. It was one of those things where I woke up on Saturday morning, not feeling free or even relieved... but just completely exhausted and deflated. It really hasn't been a good week.
Sunday 05/31: 78.7 miles, 4:32:03 (17.3 mph) Seal Beach the Short Way. Oddly enough, the week started off auspiciously. Rode a record time for this course, despite overshooting one of my turns and adding and extra 2 blocks. I felt surprisingly unaffected by yesterday's 105 mile ride. I even felt peppy enough to do 30 second sprints every hour like Peter. Otherwise, just tried to keep it easy except for a 10 minute segment where I had to pick it up a bit to hold off a guy who was trying to pass me. He seemed unamused. It's not personal buddy, I'm just a competitive person.
Monday 06/01 - Wednesday 06/03: Off, this was a really tough week. On Monday morning, I attended the funeral of co-worker, a 24 year old girl. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I worked well past midnight. I felt horrible, physically, mentally, emotionally.
Thursday 06/04: 43.16 miles, 2:54:50 (14.9 mph) Angeles Crest to Red Box. Got to bed at 1 am and woke up at 5 am, I decided that being fat and disgusting was worse feeling than being sleep deprived, so I actually managed to go on this ride. Basically tried out some higher cadences per Will's suggestion, and found the journey to be both easier and faster than before. Felt good, so I threw in some 30 second surges every half hour to break up some of the easy climbing. This ride was a bright spot in an otherwise pretty terrible week.
Friday 06/05: Off, shots. Finished work at 8 pm, a record for this week! Went to get thai food, and consume large quantities of cocktails and cupcakes with my coworkers to celebrate our survival.
Saturday 06/06: 45.7 miles, 2:35:22 (17.6 mph) Peter's Short Long Loop. Measurements approximate on this one. My cyclocomputer had a nervous breakdown in the middle of this ride, for unknown reasons. It seems okay now, but I was not amused. I guess I wasn't really in the mood to be amused by anything today. I tried to get up at a reasonable hour to go on a long ride, but I dozed guiltily until about 11am, at which I realized that I had to go to the bank before it closed at 1 pm. Despite 10 hours of sleep, I still felt really exhausted in all ways... and the overcast weather was uninspiring for a long ride. This was exactly like the cycling equivalent of when you go on a dinky 5-6 mile run to alleviate the guilt of not doing your longer/harder workout. I felt really tired though, even on this short flat ride... pretty demoralizing.
Training this week: 167.6 miles, 10:02:15
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